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carrionmywaywardsunBeing asked to tell you what your own fucking memories mean is pretty fucking weird, Hope, not going to lie. I guess I’ll start with the memory you showed all of us. It’s pretty clear that whatever you were hoping to do, you fucked up. Not for yourself. You seemed pretty happy about what how everything turned out, at least until the end. I mean for Paula.
I’m not going to get into a fucking argument about what it means to be human or a person because you have plenty of longwinded shit about that already and anyway, Serenity is right. And I don’t think it’s really all that important. Except—just because you want it doesn’t mean everyone else does. Or that everyone else wants it in the same way that you do. You fucking forced Paula to go along with your experiment and ignored all the times she was scared about it or fucked up by it. Because you want to be human so much and you thought Paula wanted that too, or that she should want it. So that’s what happened.
As for what it means… I don’t know. Things just happen, Hope. They don’t mean anything. Unless you want them to. Is that why you’re asking us all to tell you what this memory is supposed to mean? Like I said, pretty fucking weird. Things that happen don’t mean anything just because they happened and they sucked. Things just…happen. I bet you'd tell me this is something that’s going to turn out to be deeply connected to some weird memory shit later, like the death thing.
I’ll tell you what I told Iris, which I guess means I already kind of told you this. You were always gonna fuck up sometime. It would probably have been nicer if it’d happened with someone you didn’t care about so much. I do think you cared about Paula. You care too much about being human (again) for wanting Paula to be human again too to not be because you cared about her. But you didn’t care enough to listen to her not wanting it.
Anyway, you should suck it up and listen more to people when they don’t want to be a part of your being-more-human experiments in the future. That’s all.
Here’s some evidence from all your fucking essays.
[What follows is a series of passages copied out verbatim, followed by Valor’s commentary.]
Testimonials: Samantha Moon
H: ...I wonder when I decided that not all vampires were past hope. I wonder if there's any hope for them, too, or if there's a point of no return.
S: I think when you forget how to feel, forget what empathy is, that's a pretty bad sign. When you break the world just to prove you're better, you kinda cross a line.
(I don’t think what you did to Paula was THIS bad but it was heading that way. Don’t make people participate in your fucking experiments when they don’t want to, Hope.)
Testimonials: Serenity
S: I know Hope has a lot of strong feelings about being a vampire. I’ve seen them come out in memories, and I can see why. It can’t be easy. However—I believe that “vampire” is what, not WHO Hope is. And a vampire like Hope is a fine thing. I can tell what kind of priorities are and the kind of person she is-- and that's what matters.
(SERENITY IS RIGHT)
The Legend of Miaoshan
Finally in desperation he used his hands. Miaoshan, realising the fate that the executioner would meet at her father's hand should she fail to let herself die, forgave the executioner for attempting to kill her. It is said that she voluntarily took on the massive karmic guilt the executioner generated for killing her, thus leaving him guiltless.
(Miaoshan should’ve let that fucker die for not being able to kill her. What kind of shitty executioner can’t even kill ONE person who isn’t even fighting back? Fuck that guy.)
The Price of Progress
What should we do, then? Particularly with Kindred, who can be set in their ways—but Kindred may still be taught. After all, we have the wonderful Academy of the Ordo Dracul, where many of our finest scholars reside. I firmly believe that anyone can be taught, with enough repetition, and enough varying reinforcement; we simply need to cease to accept refusal to learn. There is no need for the brutality of executions among our kind; rehabilitation is entirely possible.
(I have so many fucking questions about what you were thinking here. Did you lock up any vampires you didn’t like until you successfully changed them? I feel like after a long enough time of being locked up and harassed by kindly teachers I would be BEGGING for brutal execution just to get it over with. No fucked up teacher jails in Oblivion.)
Certainly, there are those who would not accept the methods, and who would say that Kindred have a right to self-determination, even when they've done terrible things. But for a kinder, brighter world, is there truly any price too steep?
(This is how you end up forcing people you care about to participate in weird being-a-human experiments when they don’t want to, Hope.)
The Practice of Love
I suppose I should speak to what I consider "love" to be. The idea of unconditional love as all-accepting I don't think is productive or useful. Rather, an unconditional love should be one that does not give up on that which is loved, even when things are difficult or tense, or when there is disagreement. Love is investment in others; to want to see them flourish and grow, in spite of adversity, to want to reach mutual understanding, to expect better of them when they falter. In fact, sometimes especially to expect better when they falter.
To love in such a way sometimes requires one to rethink one's own positions; to sometimes bend in accordance—but does not require one's convictions to be subsumed by those of others.
(This is nice, unless what you think is “better” for someone differs from what they think is better for themselves. Maybe you should think about how that works with what you have going on here. Because it feels like, with Paula, you told yourself you knew what was best for her because you loved her. And you were really fucking wrong.)
[Written for Hope's heart game.]
I’m not going to get into a fucking argument about what it means to be human or a person because you have plenty of longwinded shit about that already and anyway, Serenity is right. And I don’t think it’s really all that important. Except—just because you want it doesn’t mean everyone else does. Or that everyone else wants it in the same way that you do. You fucking forced Paula to go along with your experiment and ignored all the times she was scared about it or fucked up by it. Because you want to be human so much and you thought Paula wanted that too, or that she should want it. So that’s what happened.
As for what it means… I don’t know. Things just happen, Hope. They don’t mean anything. Unless you want them to. Is that why you’re asking us all to tell you what this memory is supposed to mean? Like I said, pretty fucking weird. Things that happen don’t mean anything just because they happened and they sucked. Things just…happen. I bet you'd tell me this is something that’s going to turn out to be deeply connected to some weird memory shit later, like the death thing.
I’ll tell you what I told Iris, which I guess means I already kind of told you this. You were always gonna fuck up sometime. It would probably have been nicer if it’d happened with someone you didn’t care about so much. I do think you cared about Paula. You care too much about being human (again) for wanting Paula to be human again too to not be because you cared about her. But you didn’t care enough to listen to her not wanting it.
Anyway, you should suck it up and listen more to people when they don’t want to be a part of your being-more-human experiments in the future. That’s all.
Here’s some evidence from all your fucking essays.
[What follows is a series of passages copied out verbatim, followed by Valor’s commentary.]
Testimonials: Samantha Moon
H: ...I wonder when I decided that not all vampires were past hope. I wonder if there's any hope for them, too, or if there's a point of no return.
S: I think when you forget how to feel, forget what empathy is, that's a pretty bad sign. When you break the world just to prove you're better, you kinda cross a line.
(I don’t think what you did to Paula was THIS bad but it was heading that way. Don’t make people participate in your fucking experiments when they don’t want to, Hope.)
Testimonials: Serenity
S: I know Hope has a lot of strong feelings about being a vampire. I’ve seen them come out in memories, and I can see why. It can’t be easy. However—I believe that “vampire” is what, not WHO Hope is. And a vampire like Hope is a fine thing. I can tell what kind of priorities are and the kind of person she is-- and that's what matters.
(SERENITY IS RIGHT)
The Legend of Miaoshan
Finally in desperation he used his hands. Miaoshan, realising the fate that the executioner would meet at her father's hand should she fail to let herself die, forgave the executioner for attempting to kill her. It is said that she voluntarily took on the massive karmic guilt the executioner generated for killing her, thus leaving him guiltless.
(Miaoshan should’ve let that fucker die for not being able to kill her. What kind of shitty executioner can’t even kill ONE person who isn’t even fighting back? Fuck that guy.)
The Price of Progress
What should we do, then? Particularly with Kindred, who can be set in their ways—but Kindred may still be taught. After all, we have the wonderful Academy of the Ordo Dracul, where many of our finest scholars reside. I firmly believe that anyone can be taught, with enough repetition, and enough varying reinforcement; we simply need to cease to accept refusal to learn. There is no need for the brutality of executions among our kind; rehabilitation is entirely possible.
(I have so many fucking questions about what you were thinking here. Did you lock up any vampires you didn’t like until you successfully changed them? I feel like after a long enough time of being locked up and harassed by kindly teachers I would be BEGGING for brutal execution just to get it over with. No fucked up teacher jails in Oblivion.)
Certainly, there are those who would not accept the methods, and who would say that Kindred have a right to self-determination, even when they've done terrible things. But for a kinder, brighter world, is there truly any price too steep?
(This is how you end up forcing people you care about to participate in weird being-a-human experiments when they don’t want to, Hope.)
The Practice of Love
I suppose I should speak to what I consider "love" to be. The idea of unconditional love as all-accepting I don't think is productive or useful. Rather, an unconditional love should be one that does not give up on that which is loved, even when things are difficult or tense, or when there is disagreement. Love is investment in others; to want to see them flourish and grow, in spite of adversity, to want to reach mutual understanding, to expect better of them when they falter. In fact, sometimes especially to expect better when they falter.
To love in such a way sometimes requires one to rethink one's own positions; to sometimes bend in accordance—but does not require one's convictions to be subsumed by those of others.
(This is nice, unless what you think is “better” for someone differs from what they think is better for themselves. Maybe you should think about how that works with what you have going on here. Because it feels like, with Paula, you told yourself you knew what was best for her because you loved her. And you were really fucking wrong.)
[Written for Hope's heart game.]
